do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
