even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Randomize