dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
