I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
