Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
