she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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