I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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