so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
