i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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