i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
