is your mom at the bar?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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