bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
