I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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