If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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