i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
