The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
