Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
