Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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