Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
