Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
