i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
