Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
