Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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