just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize