Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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