Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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