oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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