Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I've blown a few things in my day
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
