one two three fourrrrnication!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize