dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
