So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
