I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
