I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
