I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
