i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize