I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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