He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize