It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
