What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
