just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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