i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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