apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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