Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
so let's talk penis.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
