They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
