so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Randomize
