Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
where are my eyebrows?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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