Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
It's blow job season.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
