All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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