speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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