In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
