There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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