Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
