He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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