The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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