dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
