this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
